2 Corinthians 1:3-5

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ."

april, may and june!

Our spring in photographs. Birthdays, beach trips,one year anniversaries, crafts, new homes and all.

 

Happy one year anniversary to my sweet husband. The year flew by us, didn't it? So excited I get to experience life with you, Jake. I love you!

waiting

The past month has been a difficult and confusing but has also provided much joy and perspective. Jacob and I have been blessed with finding a church – yes, I finally gave up control and allowed him to lead our relationship. After months and months of “church – hopping” I let Jacob have complete say in where we should visit that Sunday and he told me about a church he’d wanted to go to since we started looking. Obviously, I felt ashamed and guilty for my craving control having such a selfish affect but am so happy and thankful for where he led us. 

And this story only gets crazier – the first day at this church we not only knew this is where we would serve but an opportunity to rent a home in Grant Park was given to us by one of the many friendly faces at the end of the sermon. The house is beautiful, in our budget and we are surrounded by the church community and other friends and family who live in Atlanta.  God provided a home and a church all in one month. I’m not sure if we had mentioned this before but we had exactly 29 days to find a place to live before our lease was up when we were told about the house and things were finalized only two weeks before our move. God’s timing is perfect and way more spontaneous and daring then mine :)

On another note, our confusion and difficulties were brought on by what seems like a never-ending search in my finding a job. I know that after waiting an entire year I should just settle for any type of job, even if I don’t necessarily like it, but I feel so strongly that he wants me to wait and trust that He will provide a job that is a great fit for me. I’ve watched all of my friends receive jobs and have worked so hard in my current role and yet I feel as if I’ve failed. 

I learned that I did not receive the job I thought God has crafted just for me this past week and was crushed. I posted this verse on twitter Friday morning and felt every word of it: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18. 

If you noticed, I had prayed for complete trust in God in my last few posts and I am getting to experience that now. After a few days of freaking out I can say it is now a strangely calming place to be. When I first learned about the position being filled I cried for God to save me. I also asked for him to transform my heart to sincerely believe that my confidence and identity is not found in my ability to find a job, but is found in Him alone. I’ve had the chance to begin looking back on the past months and have seen how frantic I was to find a position, any position, but at the time felt like I was trusting God completely. I wasn’t. Now that I’m actually listening, I know he is telling me to just WAIT. I could end up waiting 2 weeks or even another full year – it’s not up to me but I’m waiting none the less.

I’m hopeful that one day I will find peace and knowledge in understanding his perfect timing and am thankful that he has provided what actually matters – a church home, relationships, and a circumstance where literally all I can do is trust Him and take my eyes off myself. All things Jake and I have prayed for since being married. Thank you, Lord for your unfailing love and for reminding me time and time again that your power is made perfect in weakness.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Love, the stagnaros

doubt

Thank you to my thoughtful friend Maddie for the surprise birthday gift of A Confident Heart bible study. The front of the book reads "How to Stop Doubting Yourself & Live in the Security of God's Promises" - At which I first doubted this book would actually challenge me to do (whoops).


I, like many other women, have struggled with confidence and insecurities for much longer than I can say but have never read a book addressing solely doubt – both self doubt and doubt that God is my trust. I think somewhere along the way I decided not to confront insecurities head on with Godly confidence because I managed to doubt that I could handle recognizing how all the insecurities fueled my sin. I realized within the first few pages that this book applied to me more than I thought it would– which was both humbling and strangely reassuring. Although I'm only on chapter 3 of this study I have already been so encouraged by the consistent message that God's love is perfect, I don't have to be - along with the many other promises throughout the rest of the study. 

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. Jeremiah 17:7 

Today I was challenged to actually live knowing my trust is the Lord. Despite my natural tendency to be anxious and crave control of my life - I'm praying for patience and the strength to trust the promise that he does not fail as I fail. I'm also praying for other women in my life who are lost in insecurity whether from a relationship, the world's standards, or from the desire to be in control. God's love is perfect - you don't have to be.




Love, the stagnaros 

 

easter sunday

"So the Jews said to him, "What sign do you show us for doing these things?" Jesus answered them, "Destroy the temple, and in three days I will raise it up." The Jews then said, "It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and will you raise it up in three days?" But he was speaking about the temple of his body. When therefore he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this, and they believed the Scripture and the word that Jesus had spoken." John 2:18-22

Psalm 61:2

"From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

Luke 22:42

"...yet not my will, but yours be done.”

January, February, March..

I did forget to mention a few awesome things that happened in January, February and mid March.  So, here is that season in photographs.

You guessed it. We adopted a kitten on February 8th and named him Chaco. He's ridiculously cute.

Jacob set up an indoor picnic for us for our first Valentine's Day since it was super cold outside. And yes, that's Chaco in the basket.

 We added another pin to our map for Jake's spring break - Jackson Hole, WY.

 

We had a great time visiting with Colby and Lucy, skiing (.. and falling a lot), snowshoeing, and looking for wolves and moose. It was awesome.

 

And THIS girl just found out she was accepted to UGA! So proud and pumped for her! 

God's timing is perfect.

love, the stagnaros

in its time

Okay, so it's been a while. And by a while I mean 3 months since the last post. I've honestly been struggling with not wanting to share our lives through writing - mostly because I cannot write as if I’m super happy when things have been tough. It seems January, February and now March have passed by us so quickly - months holding much uncertainty and – selfishly on my part – sadness.

I’ve been searching for a potential job position apart from my internship and have had everything but luck. I’ve been led down paths to only become disappointed, discouraged, and insecure in my ability to have a wonderful and passion-filled career. Jacob and I have been unsuccessful in finding a church community that we can truly connect with and be transparent with. We had what seemed like grandiose plans to move into Atlanta when I found a job that would allow us financially to do so. We are frustrated. We are sad. We are consumed by thoughts of “if only..” We have allowed this negativity, lack of community, and anxiety of finances to (understandably) affect our marriage - the way we respect and love one another.


 I need a break. We need rest.


And so - today I finally felt like writing. I knew that meant my perspective had been refocused and my heart finally softened.  It really wasn’t until this week that I began to feel at peace about our current circumstances, but I also wasn’t sure I’d ever feel at peace with them. I’ve taken a break from researching job openings, from networking, from interviewing. I’m finally trusting God that we will one day find community, we have embraced the idea of staying in Roswell if necessary, and I am fully trusting my husband’s leadership. Jacob had been trying to get across that God was protecting us for the past months– for whatever reason we do not understand now – he is protecting us and building us. We must be content with all he has provided for us apart from worldly things. And I finally get that.


Oftentimes I struggle to perceive anything joyful or potentially good during a series of let downs.  But this week God allowed me to see past our circumstances and to see past the “what if” and “if only.” He’s given me the greatest picture of his love for me – Jacob. A husband who has been praying for me daily, who has managed to continue encouraging me despite my sadness, and who always reminds me that his plan is for us is good. It is so good. Thank you God.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

love, the stagnaros.

john 3:30

our adventure to california

Now for a post on our trip to LA, Pasadena, and San Diego. It may be 3 weeks after we've been home, but it was our first trip to California so it deserves this entry :)

We visited Tampa, FL for one week with my family as usual and flew out of Tampa to LAX.

We made it to Pasadena for Kristin and Blake's wedding. Kristin is Jacob's awesome cousin, and her wedding was absolutely beautiful.

We spent a few days in L.A. and then drove over to San Diego to visit Jake's other awesome cousin, Jennifer. San Diego was one of the best places I've ever been to (thus far). Everyone was super laid back, nice, and the weather and sceneries were beautiful. We had burritos stuffed with fries with an accidental side of fries, went surfing, and hiked a mountain/cliffs that led to the beach (Torrey Pines).

Here's a glimpse into our trip. You'll feel like you were right there with us... sort of.

A visit to Santa Monica and Venice beach. The weather was a little dreary, but still fun.

and of course, Hollywood. (I know, I took a photo of the Twilight cast...)

Jennifer and her man Justin showed us around San Diego.  This restaurant was at the top of our hotel and overlooked downtown San Diego and the bay.

The burrito stuffed with fries I was telling you about..

Post surfing in December. We didn't get any photos of us in our wet suits, but trust me, it happened.

My favorite spot,  Sunset Cliffs 

Needless to say, Jacob is determined to move to San Diego post graduation, haha. Can't wait to go back.

love, the stagnaros

sweets!

Something about being home after two weeks of travels made me appreciate cooking, so despite my trying not to be mom-ish, I'm posting another recipe. But this time dessert!I found this recipe via pinterest on this website, and thought I'd give it a try for a cookout this past weekend. This cookie recipe might not be the right start to any New Years resolutions, but.. it's worth it once you see the recipe name.

Oreo Pudding Cookies (told you.)


Ingredients:
1 cup butter, room temperature
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
1 (4.2 ounce) package instant Oreo Pudding mix 
2 1/4 cups flour  
1 teaspoon baking soda 
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 Hershey's Cookies N Cream Candy Bars broken into small pieces (King Sized bars)
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips


To Make:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

Combine flour, baking soda, and salt in a small bowl and set aside. Cream together butter and sugars. Beat in pudding mix until blended. Add the eggs and vanilla and mix well. Add the flour mixture and mix to combine. Stir in cookies n' cream pieces and chocolate chips.

Using a cookie dough scooper, place golf ball sized dough balls on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake at 350 degrees for 8 minutes. The cookies will feel and look under-cooked, but they aren't. Let cookies cool for 5 minutes on baking sheet before moving to a cooking rack. 

...so good.